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I finally got my big break as nursing intern, and, let me tell ya, it was something to blog about! I woke up real early (7 am) and had my hearty breakfast of an egg and toast (that’s heavy to an Argentinian) then headed out the door and walked the 4 minute walk to the hospital. Everything good so far…
I arrive at the hospital expecting to be given a uniform, aka scrubs. The head nurse tells me to wait in the hall. My excitement dwindles. I wait in the hall. I wait. Tick. I wait. Tock. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE WAITING around here? Oh my freaking goodness, does it say “I will wait for anything” on my forehead?
The uniform finally finds itself free from the uniform room and I try it on. My hips fit in the pants. That’s a big deal, so I’m alright with the fact that the top is enormous. I’ve already settled with the fact that scrubs aren’t figure-flattering. I have…accepted…it. 
The head nurse grabs my arm and walks me around the 3rd floor introducing me to everyone who might ever come across my huge top. Then I’m left in the VIP section of the 3rd floor with a few nurses. I’m told to follow Rita, and I do.
Rita and I have a good time visiting the patients, feeding one through a tube that goes in his nose, changing another man’s shoes, and then she’s told she needs to give a man a shower. I said, “I’ll help you” and she took my offer.
So, we go in this man’s room – he recently had a larynectomy because he had laryngial cancer, ouch – it’s a big ordeal just to get him out of bed and into the bathroom. Then Rita says another patient is calling her and she has to go. WHAT. She left me alone in this man’s very expensive private bathroom – alone – to BATHE him by MYSELF. My internal what-the-hell-am-I-doing panic alarm goes off but I don’t let it show. Poor guy just had larynx surgery, calm down. “Ok, sir, I’m going to pretend you’re not 65 years old and completely naked except for the green tube that’s going in your nose. I’m going to help you clean your body and pretend that this is an everyday thing for me.” The only thing between me and the panic were the yellow latex gloves on my hands, which offered no emotional encouragement, damn gloves.
I also thought of, “Sir, I am not psychologically or medically prepared for this. I’ll be in the nurses station. Peace!”
I actually didn’t say all that, but I thought it. I don’t think I said much, I was so shocked and a little bit angry at Rita for leaving me. We finally finished the shower. Awkward. I helped him dry himself and put a clean robe on. He gave me a thumbs up – I took that as a “thanks, this is awkward for me too.”
Talk about throwing a fish in the water…or how does that saying go? Throwing a crab/lobster in the boiling water? My mind is so full of medical terminology that I can’t think of common sayings.
I then proceeded to make his bed ALL WRONG, bathe another woman (pneumonia), and help remove a catheter. I am on my way to the nursing championship of the world.
workin' the hospital colors
Monica was so excited when she saw me in the scrubs – it was like someone told her she had just won a million pesos! She had to take a picture. Not my best look but the color is definitely showing off how DARK I am. That’s some healthy melatonin production!
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i love it
Comment by Anonymous April 21, 2009 @ 6:12 pmGreat post. Great experiences.
Comment by Korpi April 22, 2009 @ 6:27 pmthat is fantastic!
Comment by linda April 22, 2009 @ 6:59 pm[...] In a few weeks I’ll be going back 2 years older and infinitely wiser (obviously) and I read this post about how I felt back then, wearing those scrubs – I was SO official! I mean, you gotta throw [...]
Pingback by #163: On my brain, my heart, and the gooey parts in between. « Numbered Confessions June 4, 2011 @ 5:02 pm